i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
