dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
