She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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