We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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