Apparently you make a good broom.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
