names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
