I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I deserve this hangover.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
