There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
