and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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