It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
