Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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