Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
