your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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