The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
