apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Please don't give away my fajitas
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
