Moan for me like Helen Keller
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
did i just pee glitter
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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