I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
