I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
