Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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