how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize