i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
