Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
