I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
