We're facebook friends in real life
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
