A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
