C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
