She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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