I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
