There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
