Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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