I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
