ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
