For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
As shirtless as possible
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
