2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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