Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
