I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
