I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
don't judge my taste in strippers
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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