Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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