i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
