She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize