god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
