New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
