Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
