we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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