census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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