Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
