Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
