I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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