I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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