I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
