I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
