YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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