Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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