i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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