I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
