My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
