we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
