i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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