I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she peed on how many people?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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