Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
That's intense
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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