Fine. I'll sleep in my office
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
