How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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