He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
