Dual....:-)
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
