The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The struggles of a small town man whore
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize