shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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