imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
