I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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