i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
