I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
