I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Randomize
