hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He passed out mid-signature
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
