Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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