I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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